I've seen these guys wrestle so many times at Revolution Pro Wrestling, but most of the Juggalos in the crowd had never heard of em. They fucked shit up big time. The match was awesome, probably the match of the night, with Super Dragon getting the win on Rising Son with a Razors Edge into a piledriver. It was fuckin' SICK!
Match Two: Dynamite D vs. Kraq
Kraq comes out with his butt buddy Angel (Emiem and Dre would be proud) and proceeds to act gay, until "Mr. 80's" Dynamite D comes out dressed as Jake Roberts. This shit was funny. D regulated on the queers, and won with the king of old school moves, the DDT
Match Three: Nosawa vs. Dynamite D
Nosawa runs in and tries to start shit with D, so the ref starts a new match. This match sucked. It was sloppy as hell. Nosawa put D (and us) out of his misery with a Michinoku Driver.
Then Rob Black came out with Lizzy "Aguileria" Bordon (props to Glen), John "Coronas" Kronus, the Messiah and Kraq. He talked about how he hated Lazie, and how since Sabu (the XPW champ) was out with a "broken ankle" (hes in Japan), someone of Lazies choice would have to defend the XPW title against the Messiah. Pretty soon after, "The Show Must Go On" hit, and Shaggy 2 Dope, Rude Boy, Patrick and Vampiro came in to big pops from all the Juggalos. Vampiro got on the mic and put the crowd over and shit. Then, just as we thought they were on Lazie's side, 2 Dope jumps his ass and kicks the shit outta him. The crew leaves, and Lazie says some shit into the mic. My homie points out that Lazie looks like my PE teacher at school.
Match Four: Pogo the Clown vs. Kronus
Pogo's fat ass comes out and cuts a weak ass promo about putting people under his house and walkin' around in a parachute for wrestling gear. Kronus, probably drunk off his ass, comes out and kicks Pogo's ass. Kronus does the 450 splash, which was pretty fresh, but Pogo kicked out and hit Kronus with a shovel to get the win. Shitty ass match.
Match Five: Lady Victoria vs. Angel
Angel comes out jumping around like a little girl when she sees a candy bar or Eminem when he sees Dre's dick. Lady Victoria is the shit. She's like Miss Lucha Libre and shit. There was one funny part, where Angel tried to give her a low blow, but it had no affect. I guess Femenim's like Angel don't know that punching coochie doesnt hurt. She kicked the shit outta Angel, then finished his gay ass off with a powerbomb.
Match Six: Steve Rizzono vs. Homeless Jimmy
Rizzono comes out with TJ Rush (who looks like Quentin Tarentino on steroids), some short queer, and Veronica Cain, who I'd fuck six ways till Sunday, then find a new way and finish Monday. His homies get on the mic and say some stupid shit, then Rizzono simply says the greatest catch phrase of all time: "BOO YAH!" Rizzono looks a lot like the love child of Damien Steele and Steve Corino. Now if only he had ended up with Corino's talent...Anyway, Homeless Jimmy comes out with a shopping cart full of shit, and after a crappy match and some run ins, Steve Rizzono gingerly powerbombed Jimmy's unemployed ass on a shopping cart with a road sign on it for the win.
Match Seven: Supreme vs. Vic Grimes
Supreme comes out looking like the grandchild of Bam Bam Bigelow and the son of Vic Grimes. Vic Grimes comes out looking like the dad of Supreme.It's Dr. Evil vs. Mini-Me. This match was slow. They never fucked up, and they did some decent stuff, it was just slow. Nice chairshots, a good legdrop variation by Grimes, and a Mecha Toad Splash later, the match was over and Supreme won. Mini-Me is victorious! I always root for the midget...
Then they took intermission, so I went and talked to some of my homies, including the Spider Man himself. I also found out that Violent J wasn't in the building because he was having eye surgery in Ohio or something. That sucks cuz I wanted to see the moonsault. Oh well...
Match Eight: Vampiro/Shaggy 2 Dope vs. Halloween/Damien 666
This match was the bomb. Shaggy got his ass kicked early on, but Vampiro made the save. He did some awesome kicks, knocking Damien and Halloween on their asses. Damien and Halloween did some nice moves too, including this dope ass neckbreaker thing that had Shaggy hurtin'. Finally, Shaggy manager to hold Halloween outside the ring, while Damien got the Vampiro Spike. Three seconds later, Shaggs and Vampiro were victorious.
Match Nine: Lizzy Bordon vs. Major Gunns
Two blondes, both hot, both with big titties and asses...this was gonna be the SHIT! Major Gunns was about to kick Lizzys ass, when Kronus and Kraq ran in. They held Major Gunns down, and Lizzy SPANKED HER! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHHOOOO! Major Gunns walked out with her ass red as a cherry. AWESOME SEGMENT!
Match Ten: Kid Kaos vs. Johnny Webb
This match was a deathmatch, and HOLY SHIT, it was sick. Lightbulbs, tacks, barbed wire, tables, fuckin' sick shit. Webb hit his finisher, the Welfare Check, on Kaos on the TACKS, when Rizzono and his cronies came out (Veronica Cain included, which began a "show your pussy" chant from out section). They both had these things with four flourescent lightbulbs taped together, and they both BASHED Webb with them. Kaos rolled over and pinned Webb. SICK FUCKIN' MATCH! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
Match Eleven: Messiah vs. ???
Messiah comes out, ready to wrestle whoever Lazie has for him. Lazie comes out, and Messiah jumps him. Suddenly, "Natural Born Killaz" plays, and out comes NEW JACK! New Jack and Messiah had a good match, but in the end, the Messiah pulled the upset with his finisher, the Godsmack. Messiah is the XPW champ! Woo woo! Jesus wins! The Black Army comes out to beat New Jack up, but then Supreme comes and makes the save. Then, Shaggy and Vampiro came out and turned on the Black Army, helping Lazie, New Jack and Supreme. New Jack set Vic Grimes up on a table, then taped him to it. New Jack then walked up to the balcony, and to the screams of 1,200 Juggalos and wrestling fans, dove off the balcony and onto Grimes! The place went nuts. As the show came to an end, Vampiro picked up the XPW World Title, and told Lazie he wanted a shot at it one day. He then left with the title and Shaggs, and the show came to an end.
After the show, me and my homies went to Dennys for some eats and whatnot. It was the shit. Shout outs to Glen from xpwlive2001.cjb.net, Will the G, Slim Cal, Pac, Jesse, Melody, Shibata, SCU Steve, Carrie the english teacher, El Gallienero, McCord, Big Doron, Spider Man, Jeanette, Kurt Angle, Mikey Mike, Keith the Voice, Crazy Aaron from Socal-Wrestling, Missy, Rocky, Russian Tuna, ViolenceNick, El Compa, CIMAdragon, da Shogun, Chris G., and any other peeps I forgot.
Wrestling Juggalos: make sure to check out www.socaluncensored.com