NNN's Mortons List Interview Conducted by Sean (jugalinko)

11/29/01 San Luis Obispo Cali
Sean:) For those people living in caves who haven't heard of Real Life Games, can you explain exactly what Morton's List is, and why it's so revolutionary?

Nathan (NNN) Well, you're right, I would like to address those cave dwellers, because even though there are now more people who DON'T live in caves, that's only a recent trend. Since 1965 if I remember correctly. And it's been stated many times, Morton's List is for everybody. It's the first game of real-life adventure. This basically means that it turns your life into a random adventure, showing you the fun and excitement that's possible every day. It's a powerful tool to end boredom. What is boredom? It's doing the same things all the time, it's knowing what to expect, it's patterns, the doldrums, stagnation. Morton's List is the opposite. Every time you play it's totally different. It harnesses the energy of everyone playing and multiplies it by the power of fun. It captures fate and luck, forces them to mate, and the offspring is synchronicity: meaningful coincidences. Is the random adventure that Morton's List gives you something more than random fun? Is it what you are really SUPPOSED to be doing? The only way to solcve this mysteryis the play the game. Live the game.

Sean:) Exactly how do you play? Take me through a typical play session from start to finish.

Nathan (NNN) Okay, boom! Here it is, smooth and simple. You get together whoever is down to play. Then to weed out anybody who might try to halfstep or purpletrate (that's spelled right), everybody who's really down takes an oath to do whatever Morton's List sets before them, unless it breaks a moral code, is impossible, or some other restrictions mentioned in the rules. Basically they're just promising to follow the rules and not cop out like a bitch. Okay, so once you have it weeded down to only those people who take the oath, these people are called the Inner Circle, until the game is over. The next step is to use 6-sided dice (some are provided in the game) to determine a group leader. You use one die per member of the Inner Circle, and everybody takes turns rolling all the dice in an elimination-style roll-off (the details are explained in the game - I'm only summarizing here. It's really very simple and quick). Okay, so the winner of the roll-off is called the Table Master. He or she rolls the giant 30-sided die that comes with the game on page 13. This starting pages is called "Morton's List," hence the name of the game. From there he or she just follows the simple instructions until the game has outlined what they'll be doing. Most times this will involve completing one Quest. Morton's List contains 360 Quests, and like the 360 degrees of a circle, they cover every angle of fun in life. Anything anyone could any think of to do for fun is covered by one of these Quests. Most take about an hour. Anyway, all that's left is for the Inner Circle to discuss how they want to go about completing the Quest, then they're off to have a real-life fun adventure. When they're done, the Table Master officially declares the event over. The Inner Circle dissolves, and everybody goes back to doing whatever it is that they do when they're not playing Morton's List. But hopefully they've now got great memories to take back with them for years to come. Memories that will remind them that there is a cure, the next time they find themselves bored. A cure called Morton's List.

Sean:) How many people are there out there playing Morton's List right now in the U.S and abroad?

Nathan (NNN) Tens of thousands. Maybe more. We can't be sure. It's like asking, how many people know about J. R. "Bob" Dobbs. Either you know what I'm talking about or you don't (but should). It's hard to say what the numbers are. Numbers I like are "144,000", "a cool million", "more than you can shake a dick at," and "a crapload."

Sean:) When did you come up with the idea of Morton's List?

Nathan (NNN) Well, little Timmy, I'll tell ya. It was way way back before the turn of the century, in the heart of the "gay '90s." 1994 to be precise, more or less. You'll have to forgive an old man his memory. We was all a-sittin' around your great-grandmother's dining room table in "fashionable" Ferndale, Michigan, the gay capital of the state in those days. It was your grandpa and a bunch of classmates and various old buddies of mine, and all of us was bored to the point of stagnation. None of us had the motivation to do anything, and every idea somebody came up, well, only two or three people had any heart for it, and even then they weren't excited. We'd done it all before, Timmy! Are you listening? We'd gone to the movies, we'd gotten cheap snacks, we'd roleplayed, nothing was new or exciting, anymore. But that's when out of nowhere three people busted out with some secret flavor. Flavor? That's just an old slang word from the '90s. It means, something cool. So anyway, Uncle Rob, yes, he was your grandpa's buddy back then, too - he had come up with a list of ten fun things to do. A list that you would roll on using a 10-sided die. Well, wouldn't ya know it, but me and my buddy, Ben Rosenberg had come up with a similar list on our own, too. I recall it had 12 things, but it doesn't matter, because each list only had normal things on it anyway. Well we was all surprised to see we had the same idea, and that was when you're bored you randomly roll on a list and do whatever it is you roll. Sort of a way of forcing you to get off your ass and doing something - anything. Well, anyway, we three were all surprised that somebody else had our same idea. And the others there thought that it must be a good idea if we were all doing it and having fun. So that night, instead of rolling on Ben and mine's or Uncle Rob's list, we sat down and made a new list. This one was gonna have 30 things on it because the biggest best die of them all was the 30-sided die. We called them Morton Boulders. Well, Timmy, that's how it all began. Way back before the turn of the century, long before terrorism rocked the world, long long before children like yourself were legally allowed to do hard drugs, and long long long before the robotic dogs took over. Yep, them were the days.

Sean:) How long did Morton's List take to get to where it is now?

Nathan (NNN) Seven years give or take a summer. But that's counting all the R&D phase which lasted six of those seven years. We made up a company to publish the game (like becoming your own agent) on September 11th, 2000 (yeah, our one-year anniversary party got a little rained on). Morton's List premiered as an actual game you can buy on July 13th, 2001. So you can do the math from there. We look at it as exponential growth and hope to keep it that way until everyone has heard of the benefits of ending boredom and living real adventure.

Sean:) What type of person is best suited to play Morton's List? Is it targeted only towards certain groups, or is it something anybody can pick up and have fun with?

Nathan (NNN) Anybody and everybody can and should play it. BUT. BUTT. BUTTE. BUTTER. Sorry, just seeing how far I could go and still make a word. BUT. Some people are not interested in Morton's List. I'll tell you the profile of people who don't like it and you can see if you or anybody you know fits it. First, people who are close-minded. They only do one or two things that they like and never what to try anything new, "Dude, I only like to go to rodeos and monster truck rallies, that's it." OR they have a certain belief system that encourages them to label things they don't understand as evil, "Dude, I don't care if that game has charities and helping people in it. It's got a semi-nude purple lady with cloven hoof high heels. You're going to Hell." Second, are very very busy people or those who like to believe they lead a life of pure adventure. Busy people tend to be older, into some sort of business, and generally not free and frivolous with time to burn, "Dude, I've got no time. I wish I had that game when I was in college." And we all know the adventure type. Either they really do have real tactics, like bi-weekly international trips, super frisky Asian sex stories, crazy wild military experience, and all the rest, or they SAY they do, but you can just tell they're really a flat out liar. Either way, that's the excuse they use not to play, "Dude, my life is so fresh. I skydive, I scuba dive, I muff dive, I ball across four continents, and I know every cool type of martial arts to at least the 5th degree black belt level. I live real-life adventure, I don't need to roll it." Third, there are straight haters. You all know these people. Whenever somebody tells them about something cool, their first response is to immediately figure out a way to cut it down so they can feel fresh about themselves, "Dude, that game's wack. I'd rather be bored." And lastly, of course, anybody who begins every sentence with "Dude." So, anybody who fits into these categories will likely not be into Morton's List. As you can see, it's for the most part wack people we're talking about. Almost all really fresh people love Morton's List. Cool how that works out.

Sean:) How long does it take to learn how to play?

Nathan (NNN) If you're starting out by yourself, reading the rules for the first time, it could take up to 15 minutes or maybe a half hour if you're a slow reader (it's all good, I'm a slowish reader myself) to fully get the gist. But if somebody is explaining it to you, summarizing, then, like 1-5 minutes, tops. It really is as easy as possible. We wanted to make Morton's List the kind of thing that you can walk into with no preparation, but also have the option of getting really deeply involved with. So all the complexity and depth only comes with time, if you're interested in exploring further. The surface level, which contains really all the real-life fun, can be picked up by anyone in minutes. It's sort of like Othello, right? A minute to learn, a lifetime of fun?

Sean:) I know it's a group game, but can you play with just two people or even by yourself?

Nathan (NNN) Sure! Why not? That's actually touched upon in the rules. USUALLY, the more people the merrier, or the Mortoner, but hey, whatever floats your goat. I've played with two people many many times, and it's always been just as fun. And we've gotten tons of reports of people playing alone. Really, I'll tell ya, it comes down to this: to make Morton's List work you need three things. You need a copy of Morton's List, you need a 30-sided die, or other means of generating a random number 1-30, and you need karma. And by karma I mean our definition, not the traditional one. Karma, as in life energy, motivation, positivity. So you get those three things, mix them up, bake at 360 degrees for 13 minutes, and viola! You got a real-life adventure soufflé. It's that simple. If you play Morton's List and you're not having a fun real-life adventure, I'll tell you right now, it's because one of those three ingredients is missing. And it's PROBABLY not the book or the dice. If one person has the karma, they're set to play with themselves. That sounds bad, but hey, it's all good.

Sean:) I've heard about a lot of house rules that people have developed for Morton's List, just like people play Monopoly or Dungeons and Dragons based on house rules. What do you think of that, and how do you guys play?

Nathan (NNN) Shit, house rules are the bomb. They're an essential part of any game. We wrote the official rules intentionally with TONS of room to modify them. What you see in the book is tournament rules. Standard, straight up rules. People are already playing with all kinds of versions. Some people play that you always gets a Mutation no matter what. Others that the Table Master gets to pick any Table of the Nine Prime. The whole Deviations Tables is full of ideas for house rules, really. It's all gravy. Now as to how we play. Well, we're old school with it. Not old school as in fresher than new school, just that's how we came up playing. We play hard core. We play where you GOTTA do whatever is rolled no matter what, unless it's a straight up merciless moral code that you refuse to ever break. It's like always having Deviation #24 Endangered Species. That Deviation was inspired by our style of play. Now I'm not at all saying that way is in any way superior. In fact it's if anything more stupid. But hey, we developed this game in high school and we did a lot of stupid shit.

Sean:) What are some examples of things you've done personally while playing?

Nathan (NNN) That's a pretty broad question my friend. I mean I've done a lot of Quests in my day. I've rapped to a hit freak with Carpal Tunnel Syndrome at a 24-hour super center. I've been forces to eat eight blueberry bagels for time on a full stomach, only to find, at around bagel #7 that the blueberries where actually green. I've uncovered armfuls of British porn out of a dumpster in the middle of a blizzard. I've lreaned how to make decorative chain mail. I've cut power to downtown Detroit's Christmas lights. I've discovered and fully explored a secret way to get across the Detroit River into Canada via foot. I'm just gonna stop there. You get the point. And anybody who's played more than 13 times understands, because they've probably done as crazy or crazier shit themselves. Of course the crazy stuff is what you remember longest, but I think oftentimes it's the less memorable play sessions that stick with me the longest, just in a more subtle way. Like the time I rolled Days End, and really got a good insight into all my friends' tactics. That stuff might not be on the surface of my memories, but it's just as important in my experience with Morton's List.
Well, Nathan, I want to thank you for taking time out for this interview. I know you're busy working on all new all-devastating Morton's List stuff. Everybody's getting excited about this new supplement we've been hearing about. I bet that's gonna be a lot of hard work for you, seeing as Morton's List took over six years to write, and this is slated to come out for the Gathering 2002.
Thank you, Sean. It's always a pleasure to talk with you. Any time. Yep, this winter is gonna see us going back to the old computers again. Word processing our Saturday nights away like we always used to. I actually wouldn't mind composing at least some of this new supplement on Jesse's old Pentium I 133. That machine's got a lot of Morton's List karma in it, let me tell you. But that's all stuff to talk about at a later time. Thanks again for this chance to spread the word of Morton's List, and I hope you had as much fun as I did

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