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  Reviewer :Jugalinko  wooo wooooo! Check it, i just got done watching Identity and i must say this movie definitly deserves some props. But i must also recomend not reading anyfurther cause it will ruin the movie for you,,.... with that said, this movie is like any other horror movie at 1st, a bunch of people all stranded in a hotel for some reasons of weather, broken car, car accident , etc. Amanda Peete, ray leota and John Cusak and Gary Buseys Son, are the main real famouse movie stars in this, but you will also recognize the kid who played Rudy's Boyfriend on the Cosbey show in this too. Anyways all them and a Young Boy are all traped at this hotel and geting killed one by one. Everything is going real bad, as Ray leota playing a cop in the movie tries to calm the situation gets more and more intense as Gary Buseys' Son gets killed with a baseball batt DOWN THE THROUGHT str8 up. Well the movie is getting way nutty and crazy when all of a sudden you see john cusaik who is just one of the people traped in the hotel, all of a suddden talking to psychiatrist and judges. You see there not  all real people, there 9 of this crazy
guy "malcoms" personalitys, and malcome has to kill
the killer inside of him in order to be freed by
the judge and not be sentenced to death, so
malcome after hearing this goes back in his head to
kill the killer in the hotel...... well as time
goes on you at 1st think its Ray Leota the Cop, so
John Cusak kills the cop and gets him out the
picture, and woo woo wooo everything seems ok, they
by the end of the movie your watching Malcom
leaving the Jail and Mental Hospital area going to
some where in AZ, and all of a sudden you realize it
wasnt the cop who was the killer it
was..................... ok i cant ruin the movie for you that
badly, go see it, this movie is the shit, and
most movies latly have been so RE god damn Diculouse
i cant stand em, Peace and Eat a bowl of em.
"Freddy vs. Jason" Reviewer :Guerrero497@aol.com  Where to begin? By now everybody should know of Freddy Kruger notrious child killer, and Jason the great Camp Krystal Lake killer (is that how you spell the name of the camp oh well.) Any way's the begining of the movie starts out at Camp Krystal where this girl and her boyfriend decied to swim in the lake naked then the girls starts to hear nosies and get's out of the lake butt naked. She puts on a t-shirt and goes out looking for her boyfriend only to find Jason trying to kill her. To make a long story short the girl runs behind a tree and get's killed by Jason or so you think the girl turns out to be Freddy. Then Freddy tell's Jason "you must go to elm street and make them remember me". So Jason travels to elm street and there are this girl's in a house all by themselves. Then one of the girl's boyfriend shows up with one of his friends any way the girl and her boyfriend go  upstairs and they are having sex
then the boyfriend tell's his girlfriend to take
a shower because she smell's
or something. While the girl is in the shower
the guy decieds to have a beer
after taking one sip out pop's Jason and Jason
kills the hell out him which is
pretty funny.
Make a long story short cop's come think it's
Freddy two mental patients
escape Freddy is trying to get stronger but Jason
keep's killing off Freddy's
kids. Then Jason and Freddy have the big show
down and that's all you have to go
see the movie to see which Killer come out on
top.
"DEMONS AT THE DOOR" Reviewer :CLoWn E LoVe 
Man oh man where do i begin!? This movie has all the cult status of any movie
you've seen on late night USA or SCI-FI. Plus its got ICP music in it to boot.
Already the director shows good taste in music. When a movies opening sequence
include some guy getting shot in the head and some bitch gettin raped well
then you know we're dealing with some serious issues. For the extremely low budget they
had to work on, Sota Productions comes through with one of the funniest pieces
of shit i've ever seen. You cant take this movie seriously and thats what makes it
fun. Theres a great scene where a scientist goes ballstic and starts hackin on
some demon with an axe while BLAM! by ICP plays on the soundtrack. Pure Genius.The basic plot is...demons want the world (and some bitches to fuck) and the humans arent straight with that. Your basic good vs. evil plot, and yes Big Money's own Missy makes a guest appearance as a demon from hell. (good casting!) The plot doesnt matter though. Watch this one with ur juggalo homies. Smoke some herb, drink some booze and watch one the most uniquely made films ever to grace the silver screen (or or home tv)...watch for this one on BlockBuster shelves ninjaz and make sure u pick it up! Props to ICP to for lending their musical talents to the soundtrack....dope shit! Heres some more screen shots     "SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY" Reviewer :ThuGGo the CLoWn 
First thing, this bitch that Julia Roberts plays in the movie (Laura Burney) wouldn't
know a good thing if it was sticking halfway out of her ass. Her husband, played by
Patrick Bergin, gave her everything. The only things that she didn't like were the
beatings and the sex (no different from MY wife). He was rich, successful, meticulous
and a maybe slightly overbearing. But, she got whatever she wanted and had access to
millions of dollars and got to stay home all day in a huge beach house.How awful. If the tables were turned and a guy was in that sitch...you'd see total obedience. I would stay home all day, watch porn, play video games, invite my homiez over for Faygo and pizza, flirt with the girls from the cleaning service and I wouldn't clean or cook until 30 minutes before my bitch got home from her highly-successful job. I would take my beatings because I know that they are for my own good and that I deserve them.But....no! Julia Roberts gotta bite the hand that feeds her. What's up with that? She'd rather spend the rest of her life broke and on the run rather than put out the cotton candy once in a while and learn her place in the marriage. Can you fucking believe that shit? Anyway, she stages her own death (by drowing in the sea) while on a sailboat excursion off shore in a storm. How the hell did she know that there was a storm? It was in the script, that's how. So...she hits up the house, flushes her wedding band down the toilet, takes some stuff and cash and bolts on a bus to middle America where she rents a house and hooks up with her neighbor and local college professor, Ben Woodward (played by Kevin Anderson).  Apparently, she needs a man in her life after all. Not a real man, but a pussified, weak-ass, half-plucked chicken who wouldn't know a good time if it was sitting on his face. So, they're living it up in redneck country and have a perfect life......until her husband (yes, they are still legally married and she's therefore cheating on him and deserves a hardcore, cracked-bone beating) figures out that she staged her own disappearance when he finds her wedding ring in the toilet (it didn't flush all the way, but she'd have known that if she did her chores in the first place). He tracks her down using ingenous mind-fuck techniques involving her mother, who the heartless bitch tossed into a nursing home. Mr. Burney finds her and watches her for a while, sees her relationship with the whimpy college professor and plans his move to take back what's rightfully his. After breaking into the house while Laura and chickenbones are on a date, hubby accosts wifey in a righteous scene where she stands helplessly while he stalks her from behind and whispers in her ear.The disfigured, horrified look on her face is nearly poetic.Ben, somehow sensing trouble, comes back in and subsequently gets his ass beat down by the husband of the woman that he's banging. He had it coming. So, in the end, she gets hold of his gun by some fucking miracle and manages to gather the guts to shoot him and end the movie rather anti-climatically. So, she gets to go back to working her ass off, boning the neighbor wuss, living with the guilt of killing the man she vowed to cherish, and being nearly broke. Well done, stupid. The only reason why I even watch this movie is to see Julia Roberts get her overrated ass beat. MMFCL "FINDING NEMO" Reviewer :JuGGaLette_GiNa 
Sup Juggalos & Juggalettes! In the words of Cypress Hill..stoned is the way of
the walk. And that's exactly the way you should be rollin' to see this movie. I'm
talking about none other than Disney's FINDING NEMO. A little advice to
the stoners don't ever, ever go see a Disney movie the first week it comes out. BIG mistake.
Making our way through the mounds of screaming kids & moving seats 3 times to get away
from them so we could find some where to sit. This story will make even the toughest Juggalo weep.
A happy family of Clown fish (woo-woo) were minding their business when out of
the blue  a barracuda comes in to eat the gang of kids they have. A struggling but
losing battle Marlin, the clown fish, loses all of the kids but one..Nemo. Being
the loving father he is Marlin hides Nemo from the rest of the Ocean. Nemo needless to
say goes a stray. I love Jamie Madrox. This wacky little clown fish has got himself into
some shit. Marlin meets all kinds of new creatures on his adventure to FINDING NEMO.
I'd say leave his little ass out there & teach him a lesson but hey that's why I don't
work for Disney. The graphics in this movie are amazing & that alone should be reason
enough to go see this flick. Mad props to the people at Pixar and the farmers in Humboldt
County. Go see the movie. MFCL
"MATRIX RELOADED" Reviewer :ThA JeCkLer 
What up ninjaz...so after waiting about two weeks for the bitch crowds to die down to go see the new Matrix
i finally went and saw it yesterday. Now first impressions were it was ok. Im not gonna lie
and say it was better than getting hot butter licked off mah nipples by a swedish bikini team,
but overall the action scenes were ok. I'd say wait for the next one to go see a good matrix. Tha
next installment looks dope as hell and i think it comes it in November. Anyway as far as story in
this one  Neo has a superman complex so now he knows he can kick ass and fly like Peter Pan. All
the usual cast is back. WIth a couple new additions. The new "ghost agents" are dope as fuck
and their scene along with he freeway scene were some of the dopest shit i've seen. Overall it was
good. but dont believe the hype juggalos...it wasnt great. Recommended level of highness way
high to go see this movie. Its a trip!
"HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES" Reviewer :CHaInSaw MeSSiaH 
Ok juggalos, I know some ninjas are like "if it
dont
have to do with Psychopathic it aint shit!!!".
Well, I
have been a fan of Rob/White Zombie for like 10
years
and I had to go see this movie because if you
know
anything about Rob Zombie you would know that
this muh
fucka knows horror! From the second this movie
started
it was the total atom bomb! There was not one
stale
second in it! It has blood, violence, tits and
ass,
and chicken! There is a clown in it named Captain
Spaulding and this sum bitch it fucking crazy
insane
funny as fuck! If you ever seen Texas Chainsaw
Massacre 2 and remember the brother with the
metal
plate in his head that would heat the hook part
of a
cloths hanger and scratch the skin around the
plate
and eat what came off, he is in this movie and
plays a
character named Otis. The development of this
character is much like his character in TCM2 and
it is
fucking great! Everything you would expect in a
horror
movie is reversed on you in this movie, not to
give it
away but the typical "american hero" plot does
not fit
into this movie! Alot of innocent people get
strait up
killed (including cops, one scene it gets quiet
for
like 35 seconds and a cops murdered execution
style
gunshot to the head)! You would probably think
that
this would be a B horror movie being made by a
musician and all, but nope! The graphix and
special fx
(not computer graphix either as far as I could
tell,
all props and costumes) are unreal! There are
some
camera shots that just blew my fucking mind! I
was on
the edge of my seat the whole fucking movie. I
even
said at one point, "this is everything I have
ever
wanted in a horror movie!" and its true! Also,
Rob
Zombie did not use this movie to glorify him nor
his
music, there are some instrumentals of his, but
hardly
any song he made on the soundtrack is in the
movie,
just instrumentals. Hell, its hard to be 100%
sure,
but I think I only saw him in the actual movie
but one
time near the end so he didn't use this movie to
show
himself off either. He did not fuck up on little
thing
in this flick
So Juggalos, dont sleep on this movie, it has
everything to be one of the best horror movies of
all
time! Mad fuckin props to Rob Zombie on this and
hope
to see more out of him in the future!
messiah
"THE CROW" Reviewer :Frum777@aol.com 
Yo whuttup ima give you some info on this kick ass movie The Crow. It stars Brandon Lee who is
the one of the fuckin best actors ive seen. It starts out on Halloween a gang busts into Eric Draven
(Brandon Lee) and girlfriends house and they fuckin rape her and push him out the window.
Well she suffers in the hospital for 30 fuckin hours before she dies. Now lets skip ahead a year.
A crow perches atop his grave while he digs his way out of it. He goes back to his house and
remembers what happens and sees his old mask and decides to paint his face like it. And I love
this fuckin face paint. Well anyway he goes out to seek revenge on all the gang people and shit
that killed his wife and gets into some pretty badass shit with them. And the best part is he can't
die. My favorite parts are how he leaves his crow symbol in blood, fire, etc. wherever he goes.
If you haven't seen this movie get your ass up and rent it. I recommend not seeing #2 or #3
because they suck royally to me. But that's just my opinion. They don't have Brandon Lee in them
cuz he died while making this movie. so anyway ima quit my blabbin and end this review. MCL
"BIG MONEY HUSTLAS" Reviewer :FreddyLuger 
wut up nija's this is freddyluger saying how dope of a movie Big Money
Hustlas is. If your a juggalo then you know what i'm talking. This movie has
it all big tities, guns, and of course everybody's favorite serial killing
clowns ICP and everybody's favorite weed smokers Twiztid. Now that the cast
has been named i can give you the review.
After sweeping his own streets of organized crime a San Fran super cop named
Sugar Bear (played by Shaggy 2 Dope) heads out to New York to try and stop
New Yorks underlord Big Baby Sweets (played by Violent J). Who is joined by
his two sidekicks Big Stank and Lil Poot (played by Twiztid). Shortly after
ariveing to NY Sugar Bear is greeted by a goffy sidekick named Harry Cox
(played by Harland Williams) Sugar Bear also teams up with the legendary
Dolemite (played by Rudy Ray Moore). So thers it is the Big Money hustlas
reivew if you havent seen this movie then go out and by it if you get it on
DVD you get specail features like two music viedos by ICP Let's go all the
way and Tilt-A-Whirl also there is comentary by Violent J, the rude boy, and
Alex Abiss. and that's the review. MMFCL. "RESIDENT EVIL" Reviewer :Guerrero497@aol.com 
Man this movie was bad ass if your into resident evil. It's basically about
this under ground corporation known as Umbrella. if you played the games then
you know what I mean. Any way the movie starts out all normal and then this
guy release this virus that turns the people into zombies. Then theres the
commando team that goes into the hive to see why the computer started
killing people. Basically threw the hole movie evrybody dies or gets turned
into zombies. But there is the part with the licker that comes down from the
celling and kills this guy by a train and the licker get's bigger and faster.
well thats all i have to say about this movie MCL.
"UNDERCOVER BROTHER" Reviewer :M80daclown@aol.com 
straight up this movie is one of the funniest movies i have ever seen. u got dave chapelle
(the ninja from half baked) ,eddie griiffin(jasons lyric,double take) in this crazy ass
tripped out movie. eddie grifiin plays the part as undercover brother whic iz this ninja
that iz stuck in the 70's, has a diesel ass afro, and will whoop yo ass and pick out his
fro atr the same time.there iz this office/agency/detectives groub called
the B.R.O.T.H.E.R.H.O.O.D. which is this group who goes out does research and tries to
get blacks the respect they deserve.then u got the giovernment which i for got the
character's name but chris katan (night at the roxbury) plays as him. there whole purpose
iz to stop the brotherhood and make the world an all white land and to destroy undercover
brother. there are a whole lot of race bashing in this movie so if u are a little tight
ass i suggest u not peep this movie out cuz every race gets picked at but its all in fun.
this movie straight up iz the shiznit. oh yeah and 1 more thing i think the ultimate crime
fighting team would be undercover brother,dolemite, and the one and only SUGAR BEAR muthat
facko. but thats it MCL WOOOOO WOOOO
"SPIDERMAN" Reviewer :Daytona_juggalo69 
daytona_juggalo69 here..wanting to let you know about another awesome movie juggalos and
juggalettes alike must see....its the new Spider-Man movie..i got the chance to win tickets
to a sneak preview so i got to see it two days early...why wouldnt you wanna try and get
bitten by a fuckin spider to try and get the same powers peter parker has...i know i try
all the time...yeah, they changed it up and shit...they took out the webshooters and gave
him organic webbing, but that came out to be a better change! he didnt have to worry about
the web cartridges wasting out on him and him fucking gettin hung up without a web line...
as most people know, peter parker, played by tobey maguire, is a nerd who is in love with
everyones favorite redhead mary jane watson, kirsten dunst, the hottie from bring it on...
after gettin bit by, here a DNA alterered spider, he gets the proportionate abilities of
said spider; enhanced jumping ability, web spinning, wall sticking ability and whut the
doc refers to as "spider sense"...he uses those powers to beat down, matrix style, flash
thompson, mj's boyfriend...and then goes out and wrestles one match against bonesaw, ...
played by randy savage...when he gets paid, he gets dissed out of his money, so the guy
gets robbed, and peter lets the guy get away....only to learn his uncle ben gets capped by
the robber...so spider man, goes after him, and contary to the comic, the robber ends up
gettin killed...long story short, the green goblin, played by willem dafoe, shows up and
starts talking to himself and ends up killin muthafuckas left and right, till spidey gets
in a feud with him...tries to take out his aunt may, and then mj...this fool willem looks
like a goblin without the mask, so they picked the right actor...the webslinging/goblin
glidin CGI effects are the bomb...they are already planning on making two sequels so maybe
they will put somebody better than the goblin in it...i aint giving away the ending...its
like the comics, for those of u who follow...its about time they actually come up with a
good comic movie....just wait till next year..xmen 2, the hulk and daredevil all come out...
with more comic heroes to come...its an action movie with some comedy and love thrown in
the mix....its truly gonna be a juggalo classic...to take a line from spidey creator Stan
Lee..till next time true believers....stay down, and much hatchet luv
"Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" Reviewer :Nickolas Palsmeier 
Kay ninjas, I got a review for yas. Jay and Silent Bob
Strike Back. If you havn't seen this movie, what the
fuck is wrong with yas, it is fucking funny as shit!
But one thing, you need to see all of Kevin Smiths
other movies (in order) before you watch this one, a
lot of the little side jokes and shit will make a lot
more sense. But basically Jay and Bob find out holly
wood is makin a movie about them called "Bluntman And
Chronic strick back, and they go to Miramax studios to
stop it, it funny as fuck !
"BLADE 2" Reviewer :FAT PAT 
BLADE 2 MUTHAFUCKAS. THIS MOVIE IS THE SHIT. YOU GOTTA SEE THE FIRST ONE THOUGH.
THIS ONE IS ABOUT HOW THESE VAMPIRES COME TOO BLADE WITH A TRUCE SO THEY CAN COME
TOGHETHER AND BEAT THIS NEW RACE OF VAMPIRES THAT ARE JUST AS STRONG AS BLADE HIMSELF,
AND IF YOUV'VE SEEN THE FIRST ONE THAN YOU KNOW WHAT IM TALKIN BOUT CAUSE BLADE CAN BEAT
SOME ASS, BUT ANYWAYZ THEY GO AND TRY TOO KILL THESE MUTHAFACKOS IN THIS FUCKIN VAMPIRE
CLUB AND THERE VAMPIRES SNORTIN POWDERED BLOOD LIKE COKE AND SHIT ITS A DOPE MOVE IN
GENERAL AND ANY JUGGALO THAT LIKES GOOD FIGHTING AND SOME GORE AND WIKED TYPE SHIT SEE
THIS PEACE MMMMMMFCL.
"Ghost of Mars" Reviewer :Crazy-Ninja 
ok ninjaz. this is a must see. well this movie starts on marz when this one cop
on mars comes back in on a train and she is the only one and she is hand cuffed to a
seat and her and her crew were suposed to pick up and transfer a prisonr, who is played
by ice cube for all you westside juggalos. when they get to the the town they find out
that every one is dead. i don't want to blow the plot for you so i will just say that the
zombies are people pozized by some spirits. there is a lot of kick ass lines they say in
the movie, tight guns, and lots of gore. the ending is tight. u defintly need to check
this one out. peace. mcl
"American Ninja" Reviewer :Gmpythclwn@aol.com 
The movie about this American guy, Joe who joins the army. He finds out the general is
running guns to this whack mother fucker. He investaigate and discovers than the bad
guy is training ninjas to fuck people up. Little do they know that G.I. Joe has mad fuckin
Ninja Skills himself. So he battle this crew of Ninja villians with much ease.
The movie is basically him kicking the shit outta ninja's with out the cheesey
japanese dubbing.
"GREASE" Reviewer :CZWBrat69 
I know what some of you are thinkin, what the fuck?! But Grease is definately a
movie for all the juggalos. John Travolta schools it like nobody's business.
He's Danny, the leader of the T-Birds and all summer he was tryin to get the
skins of the fine ass Sandy but gets the bone when she has to go back to
Austraila.School starts and he doesnt know it yet, but Sandy stays in Cali and ends up
hangin with the Pink Ladies, the ninjette version of the T-Birds. When Sandy &
Danny finally come face to face, he disses her in front of the crew & the rest
of the movie is him trying to get her back, just when he does, he fucks up
again. Will he finally get with his ninjette? Plus his boys have the same women
problems. It's a fresh movie full of singin, car races, rival gangs, makin up,
breakin up, gettin it on in the backseat of your hoopty & just hangin' with your
crew. Definately a movie for juggalos & juggalettes
"SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE" Reviewer :D6AD aka D6 
Yo whuts crackin ninjaz?! This is my first movie update so why not use this
chance to talk about my favorite superhero. Growing up i always wanted to
fly. Shit half the kids in my neighborhood either broke or almost broke their
necks jumping off their roofs trying to be the man of steel. Alot of ninjaz
try and playa hate and diss Superman but i gives no fuck!! CHeck it..this is
the 1st movie with that jigga Chris Reeve....pre-wheelchair. Anyway the movies
the bomb cuz it sets up how Clark Kent made his transition from being a teen
in Smallville Kansas to movin to Metropolis and working at the Daily Planet.
Gene Hackman is dope ass fuck as Lex Luthor. He's jes one ninja thta dont give
a fuck and wants Superman dead. This is the first of four that Chris Reeve did
and to me this ones the best. One of my fav scenes in this one is when he's about
to tell Lois Lane who he is but chickens out at the last minute. That fuckin scene
jes flips my wig back cuz of how you notice how different Superman and Clark Kent
are. Hands down this movies the shit. Superman is dope as fuck and if your like
me you get lost in the story and at least while ur wtaching life aint such a bone!
"HOW HIGH" Reviewer :Crob Ya Homicidal Ninja 
Aight i gotta movie review fo ya. "How High" the redman/method man movie i
thought was the shxt. Silas (Method Man) grows all types a weed n plants
from shxt dat cleans yo mouth to shxt that makes yo dick hard whatever u
need, he got. So his boy Ivory comes over talkin bout a shorty he got over
the internet, and when he meets her, she talks all this shxt to him, so he
goes to his couch, sits down wit a blunt and next thing u know hes burnin
alive. Silas puts his ashes in his weed and right before he goes to this
test, he meets Jamal (Redman) and they start gettin high. Then they see Ivory
as a ghost and he gets them into harvard. THen all this shxt happens where
they piss off all the richies n shxt and then theres this wanna be ghetto
chinese dude and a pimp called baby powder and this dorky ass richie
volunteer skool cop-turned weed addict n shxt who takes all the ivory, but
anyway they still grow the herbal and get some ass so its all good. Theres
one scene where they start playin "du hast" and im pretty fukin sure there
takin off CKY2K. SO through the movie red n mef take all the lame ass upper
class richies and eventually get em all high. This movies a trip all in
itself, i though it was the shxt.pees owt,mcl,-Crob ya homicidal Ninja
"A CLOCKWORK ORANGE" Reviewer :TWIZTIDCHICK 
What up juggalos and juggalettes, I recently saw "A Clockwork
Orange" and I must tell you I fucking love this movie. It's
violent, disturbing and twisted...in short, it's a great juggalo
movie.To summarize, Alex DeLarge is a hoodlum in the not-to-distant
future London. His principle interests are rape, violence and
Beethoven. He and his "droogs" (friends) often spend a lot of
time away from home and out on the streets. They go out at night
and have fun which means getting into fights with other gangs,
commit random acts of violence, and rape women, then retire to a
milk bar, which is exactly how it sounds...a bar that serves
milk, except the milk is laced with drugs. One night, when Alex
comes out of some lady's house after attempting to rob her, he
is betrayed by  his friends and left to be arrested by the
police. At the jail, Alex is informed that the woman he attacked
has died from her injuries. Alex is then sent to prison for
murder. While there, he reads the bible(only for the sex and
violence) and dreams of getting out of prison. He then asks a
preacher about an experiment that he had heard about that if
successful, could possibly rid him of any violent or sexual
impulses he might have, allowing him to leave prison much
quicker. Soon enough he is sent to try this experimental
technique. He is forced to watch undedited footage of brutal
beatings, rapes, and Nazi marches all the while with good old
Ludwig van Beethoven's Ninth Symphony playing in the background.
Alex comes out a changed man, but his victims have some nasty
surprises in store for him....to see what happens you'll just
have to watch it.This is by no means a new movie (it's from 1971) and can be a
little hard to understand because of the British accents, but I
still think it's fucking great, and it should be a juggalo
classic. Peace and MMFCL...Twiztidchick
Woo Woo to Twiztidchick for that review. I've seen this one many times ninjaz. Anything Stanley Kubrick has done is the shit. He's the director. Shit the first movie review i ever did was a Stanley Kubrick movie..which was Full Metal Jacket. You can check it out on the Movie Archives page by clicking Here. Definately watch this movie ninjaz..its a fuckin trip fo sheezy! MCL jiggaz...keep the reviews coming WOO WOO! "BLACK HAWK DOWN" Reviewer :BLADEZ the So CaL RYDA 
I know all you ninjas are like this shit aint even out yet but fuck all that.
black Hawk Down is on limited release in 2 theaters in LA and 2 in New York.
Str8 up this movie is the fucking shit. It is about way back when we were in
Somalia trying to liberate the skinnys there. This movie centers around 4 Ranger
and Delta Force teams that are doing a black op mission to kidnap some friends
of Somalia's main Warlord in hopes of catching him. Str8 from the start shit
gets fucked up with Somalians bringing down Black Hawk Helicopters with RPGs (
Rocket Propelled Grenades) Shit gets even more fucked up as a one hour mission
turns into a 1 day slugfest with these small special forces teams fighting off a
city of mad mudafuckos. The fight scenes in this movie blow Private Ryan away
and are helly more realistic with the injuries and wounds. Hundreds of Somalia
militia dying American Special Forces getting stomped all for a mission they
don't want this movie is off the fucking hook. All Ninjas see this shit I give
it 5 Hatchets out of 5 cause it is tight as a 14 year old virgin before softcore
mike gets to her.MCL.Bladez SoCalRyda
Fuck yea...thanks Bladez for that review. I actually wanna see this one. War movies can either be really good or helly bad if they're done poorly. But this one sounds like its tha shit...highly recommend this one ninjaz! MCL serial killaz..keep the reviews coming "LORD OF THE RINGS" Reviewer :PSYCHO JOE 
yo sup ninjaz..i went and seen mufuckin lord of the rings last night and that
movie is dope as fuck..lots of killin and niggaz gettin the heads cut off and
shit....basically--if you havent seen it--its about this evil ring and there
tryin to destroy it because if i got back to the mufuka that made it...it would
mean world domination and shit.........im serious i had serious doubts about
this movie at fist but then i saw it and was like GODDAMN THAT KICKS FUCKIN
ASS........the only other thing im sayin is if you like mystical shit and
killing is a damn good movie and imma buy that bitch as soon as it comes out on
dvd.....8 out of 5 possible stars..mmfcl. psycho joe
Ninjaz str8 up this movie was OFF the fuckin hook. Dont try and act all hard and pretend you never had a fuckin imagination as a kid. This movie takes you back to that and still has wicked adult violence flava to keep it balanced. If someone didnt review this movie i would've cuz i seen it a couple dayz ago. Madd fuckin props to psycho joe for that dope ass review. MCL killaz! "ORGAZMO" Reviewer :CLoWn E LoVe 
Nuff said bout this one. If you've seen it you know if you havent then you need
to. If your handicapped. you need to see this movie. If you've got really
bad dandruff then you need to see this movie. If your mom is your best friend
your a pussy and as such need to be beaten till MY fists hurt. But str8 up
if your a juggalo your gonna love this movie. Whuts it about you ask? Well
if you've ever been heavy into religion then you know how boring it can get
so whut better thing to turn to then porn. God bless porn and the lead in
this movie has it to thank for for raising his self confidence. He goes
from selling bibles door to door to becoming a hardcore PORN film star.
Amen! Well i should also mention it stars both creators of South Park which
are Matt Stone and Trey Parker. If your bored and Mortons List jes aint cuttin
it then go rent or steal this one fo sheezy! MCL serial killaz!
"OCEANS ELEVEN" Reviewer :Corinthian the Cinema Ninja 
DOPE FUCKIN' FILM!George Clooney plays Danny Ocean.. SMOOOOTH Pimp
Muthafacko Straight Out the Pen for runnin some scams
and allegedly knockin over some banks. It's his first
day out.. so whut he do? Go on a faygo run? Have his
home boy hook him up with a chick that he know? FUCK
NO! He's hookin' up with 11 of the best muthafuckin'
thieves and hustlas in the biz cause he's gots plans
for 3 of the biggest casinos in Vegas! One vault holds
over 150 MILLION Dolla$ For all three casinos on a
Fight night... and Danny's just gots to get paid!
Plus, The Ritchie Bitch that runs the 3 Casinos and is
in charge of the vault is Tappin' the skins of Danny's
wife! So you know this punk bitch is about to get his
ass hustled big!I can't even begin to tell ya how fuckin' smooth all
11 of these cats are, but each of them are all
definatly Juggalo Role Models! I highly reccomend this
one to any Ninja who's even engaged in a lil'
Pick-pocketin' cause you ninjas are represented in
this one. Also All you Vegas Juggalos should be down
with this one, cause this would make one hell of a
Morton's List Mission for them slow weekends.
Rating: 4 and a half Hatchets out of 5
Whut could have been better: More footage of the Crazy
Horse. There were No titties in this movie at all.
Any Pseudo-Dark Carnival Referances: "First Day out"
Woo WOo....thanx for that review ninja! I gotta also say the pic of me in it was done by Corinthian as well so thanks for that shit to ninja.Shit if theres any old skool juggalos out there and im literally talkin OLD shittin in ur pants and gummin your food ninjaz....well you'll know this movie is a remake of a 60's version with the Rat Pack (Sammy Davis Jr., Dean Martin, Joey Bishop,Peter Lawford and that ninja that could bang any bitch whenever he wanted Frank Sinatra) Thats why to do the remake they needed a bunch of stars all in one movie. Word on the street though is the remake is helly better so check out the 2001 version fo sheezy! MCL ninjaz and as always keep the movie reviews coming! "HALLOWEEN H2O" Reviewer :FcW1301@aol.com 
I got a Review on Halloween H2O yall. i know all the juggalos might of seen
it and thought it was kinda whack compared to the first one, but anyway if
you didnt know bout the new halloween coming out then peep this shit... in
H2O the guy that Jamie Lee Curtis killed wasnt mikie it was a police guy
michael was put in there right but remeber the guy that jamie snatched the
gun from and told to get out of the van?? That was mikie! He put the mask on
the dudes face and the mask took over his body cuz of the curse of it.
(Season of the Witch was the gay movie but they made a  Michael Myers mask
right, and hid it. It was just like his from the 3 years earlier. But Michael
got a hold of it in 4, and caught the curse of it! Ya see thats why 6 was the
curse.) So to sum it up he put the mask on the dude and it took over him! tha
cop was now Michael Myers and blam jamie cut tha head of tha Wrong Mutha
Facko!!!!HAHAHA! well thats it. IM OUT MCL JUGGLES
Hmmmm...i gotta watch this one again. Thanks for that review homie and very interesting theory. Im not gonna say its wrong cuz like i said i gotta watch it again. But thats a dope theory nonetheless. Check it out juggalos..let me know whut yall think and email me. I'd be interested to know whut you all think. Regardless though nothing will ever be fresher than the first Halloween! WOO WOO...MCL ninjaz! "HELLRAISER" Reviewer :Twiztid-TError@Webtv.net 
A man purchases a puzzle box (The Lament Configuration Box) from a
foreign man looking for the ultimate in pleasure and pain but after
solving the mysterious puzzle box he finds more than what he's looking
for. The box opens an passageway to hell and lets out the master of
pain, "Pinhead" and his evil followers know as cenobites. Thats all ima
say about the movie. Go rent it if you never seen it I strongly recomend
it. A must see for horror fans. Alright enuff reading this....GO RENT
IT! "We'll tear your soul apart!"-Pinhead
"LITTLE NEMO: ADVENTURES IN SLUMBERLAND" Reviewer :CarDKeePA 
sup juggalos, im tellin yall bout dis kids cartoon and
its an absolute trip to watch when your loaded, its
bout dis kid who falls asleep and travels to dis place
in da sky called Slumberland, and he meets the king
and shit and he gets this big key to open any door,
but he can only open this 1 door wit this dragon
symbol on it cuz it holds some black tar badguy shit
called Nightmare, so off course he opens the door and
its bad, it takes the king hostage and then nemo, and
some other people team up to go rescue the king, it
gets pretty fuckin crazy, i suggest you peep it, you
might have seen it when you were a lil kid, anywayz,
pick it up....PEACE!
Uhhhh wow...never thought i'd see this on the Movie reviews..props to CardKeEpa for that review. Shit i remember the videogame of this movie that was on the old skool Nintendo game system...remember that shit?!? But i never seen the movie but i'll watch it loaded....wheres the chron?....MCL ninjaz! "THIRTEEN GHOSTS" Reviewer :Corinthian the Cinema Juggalo 
13 Ghosts is about a creepy old Ritchie Bitch and his
obsession with collecting ghosts. The Old fuck becomes
a dead old fuck while picking up his last catch.
Meanwhile his down and out Nephew is tryin to make
ends meet for his two kids (One played by that FINE
ASS BITCH Shannon Elizabeth) and thier Nanny (Played
by Rah Diggah) when suddenly a Lawer Shows up at the
door with the Key to his dead uncle's house.
THIS HOUSE IS THE SHIT! It's all glass and has more Moving parts then a fuckin' Transformer! But the best part is, all the Ghosts in the Basement! There's 12 Ghosts, one each for the signs of the Black Zodiac. The 3 you wanna look for are "The Angry Princess" "The Jackel" and "The Hammer" I'd tell ya more but I don't wanna give the shit away. Long Story short.. Ghosts get loose, Dad and the kids get trapped in the basement  have to get a way out. And
a Sexy Dead Ghost bitch walkes around naked with her
titties hangin' out.
All in all fun for the whole Psychopathic Family. What Could have been better?: Shannon Elizabeth shulda Got Nekkid! Any Pseudo-Dark Carnival Refferances?: No Rating: 4 out of 5 Hatchets TO ANY AND ALL JUGGALOS IN THE MARYLAND, DELEWARE AREA WHO READ THIS! IF YOU COME TO REGAL CINEMAS AT PEOPLE'S PLAZA IN GLASCOW SPORTIN' PSYCHOPATHIC GEAR, LOOK FOR ME (Eric) GIMME A HOLLA AND MAYBE A 2-LITER AND I'LL HOOK YA UP WITH FREE PASSES! Woo Woo thanx ninja for that review...all im gonna say is im definately gonna go see this one now.....DVD will prolly be out by the end of the year. MCL ninjaz! "BOONDOCK SAINTS" Reviewer :FUZZNUTS 
fucking my favorite movie now. came out early 2000 but i just saw it. it might
offend a few people, the whole plot is these 2 bros that get a message to kill a
the bad, evil people. so they do, nice shootage scenes and shit. blood is
always good. the coolest part about the movie is the fbi detective (hes
actually cool) and the way he figures out what happens at the crime scene, cuz
you see it happen first, then he logics it out with evidence. great movie flat
out.
Juggalos i have to agree this movie is the shit. Granted yea theres a couple weird scenes in it that prolly  coulda been left out...overall this movie was
the bomb...favorite scene of mine has to be when some dude gets a toilet
dropped on his head...no lie....check it out ninjaz and thanks to Fuzznuts
for that dope review.....MCL muhfackos!
"THE TOXIC AVENGER" Reviewer :WICKEDCLOWN65101@AOL.COM 
hey wassup, you asked for it so im giving it, heres my review of the one, the
only, THE TOXIC AVENGER!!!!!!!!!!!! (have someone make a do do dooooo noise
while you read that part. the story starts off with a little nerdy fucker
named melvin who every one gives a hard time. plus he lives in tromaville
which is a pretty fucked up place. he works at the local gym and pisses off
the bully and his friends, so they set him up for revenge buy tricking him
into gettin freaky with a sheep. everyones laughin and chasing him till he
falls out a window and lands in a barrel of toxic waste causing him to burst
into flames and later mutate into the mutant hero (they didnt name the movie
till it was already made so they call him that). well, as the toxic avenger
he goes around beating the shit outta all sorts of bad guys and the crooked
ass mayor trys to kill him and so on, its a damn funny movie, and it shows
why blind hot girls are cool, they fall for ugly fucks like me lol . check it
out its the shit, i strongly recomend the uncut european version cuz its the
bloodiest one out there. 6 jokers cards outta 6. mcl.
I gotta give props to this ninja WIckedClown, he knows his shit. I went out and bought Terror Firmer and its off the heazzy now i gotta get this one. Thanks for that review homie. Keep them reviews coming ninjaz...till next time im izzout WOO WOO! "THE DOOM GENERATION" Reviewer :SPIKE MIKE LUMLUM JUGGALO 
yo dawg...theres this crazy movie called "the doom generation".....this is
one crazy ass movie if u luv sencless violence n whores......it got rose
mcgowen in it...thats marilyn mansons slut grl....in the one part they blow
off this chinamans head witha shotgun n his head flies into the hotdog spot
in his store n starts spittin out relish n talkin.....n at the end there is a
huge finale when rose gets a virgin mary statue shoved up her neden.....its
crazy the whole way through but its one of the coolest movies i ever seen
thats not too cheesy....check it out....its a must for the ninjas across the
land.
Thanx Spike for the review....Hmmm now ninjaz..i have heard about this movie for quite some time now...i always get  asked if i've seen it...and to this
day i havent...but now i want to...sounds pretty fresh and im always
down for shoving religious icons up nedens...who can forget the funny as hell
masturbation with a crusifix scene in Exorcist...WOO WOO...keep the reviews
coming juggalos......im izzout....MCL
"KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE" Reviewer :CLOWN E LOVE 
BOOYAH! Damn yall knew this review was gonna happen sooner or later. Whenever a juggalo
thinks of wicked clowns they think of one of two things....ICP and this movie.
More than half of you either own this movie or have seen it on some late night
up all night cheesy movie channel. Well whut can i say...if the creators of this
movie only knew that their so called "cult classic" following consists of mostly
juggalos.I mean who else would watch this
shit and actually like it?Anyway so lets get on with the review.Although this movie
isnt quite as ruthless as we'd like it to be. One thing jes boosts this movie
way past "ok" and thats the fuckin klowns in this movie.You can tell where most of
the budget on this low budget movie was spent and thats on the wicked serial killin
klowns from outer space. The story starts off
with this dude trying to get some skinz from his hoe in the back of his ryde when
they see a shooting star shoot across the sky. Turns out that shooting star was none
other than a spaceship. So they go off to investigate cuz they're dumb like that.So
they find where it landed and the fuckin space ship is shaped like a circus tent.
Woo Woo! They go inside and shortly thereafter find out there more to it than it jes
being a circus tent. Im talking weird sci-fi reactor chambers...dead bodies encased
in cottoncandy..yea thats right cotton candy...dead humans are stored in these as
snacks for these killer klowns. So then they
get discovered by these klowns and they get chased the fuck outa there. Now begins the plot
of the klowns to gather up all the towns people in those "cocoons" and take over that
bitch.The movie has some classic fuckin scenes like the klown thats driving with no
car...jes in mid air and bumps some dude off the road killin him. EVERY juggalo should
see this movie...fuck i think everyone has at least once. Definately worth buying as
well either on VHS or DVD....the dvd has extra shit like behind the scenes, out takes
and a wacky klown menu...its pretty fresh....i suggest asking for this one for Xmas ninjaz!
Well thats it for now juggalos! Keep the movie reviews coming....WOO WOO
"NINJA SCROLL" Reviewer :THE UNKNOWN 
Aight I don't know how many of you are Anime fans. But even if you're not,
you will fuckin love this movie. Fuck I thought anime was for 45 year old
guys, living in there mom's basement playing Counter-Strike under the name
Venom_King. But then i saw this movie. Unlike most anime Ninja Scroll
doesn't take place in a futuristic type setting. It takes place in a fedual
Japan, like around 13th Century. The main character is a Japanese ninja
Mercenary, named Jubai (pronounced Jew Bay). And this ninja knows how to
fight. This movie has a deep plot, but you can put it on mute, and it won't
matter. There is just so much gore it doesn't matter how you watch it. It's
like a Juggalo's dream. The fight scenes in this movie fuckin rock. The
movie is basicly about Jubai and these 2 other people ,you'll find out about
them when ya watch the movie, and they are searching for these demons that
they wanna find out about, and kill. And there leader the Dark Shogun, or
something like that. And Jubai wants to find this guy who he killed, but the
guy has the power reincarnated himself, so he can come back to life. So he
is out to finish him off. And there is like a bunch of twists in the plot.
The other main character is, this chick, and i can't spell her name, so i'll
just call her what she's called through out the movie, Ninja Girl. But she
has this power, that she is immune to venom, or poison. But she also has
poison all over her body, and like anyone that trys to fuck her, dies. I
don't really wanna give much of it away, but I will tell you, there is gore
all over this movie. It fuckin kicks ass. And I swear it was made for a
juggalo. Now if you go to Blockbuster, or whatever video store you rent at.
You should find it easily. But they also have Ninja Ressurection the sequel
to Ninja Scroll, which sucks..so don't get that.
Juggalos i cant front...this movie is the shit! I got it on dvd and i too am not a big japanese anime collector but i have few and this is one of them. The story is the shit...the animation is off the hook and theres blood and guts. nuff said...WATCH THIS MOVIE! Props to The Unknown for that review WOO WOO "OFFICE SPACE" Reviewer :JUGGALETTE NEENER 
Alright, here it is. This movie is about this guy who hates his job. He's
bored, does nothing, and his chick's a fuckin' hoe. So his bitch takes him
to a hypnotherapist and during the session the fat ass hypnotherapist
croaks. So the guy feels totally rejuevinated and doesn't go in to work for
awhile or anything. When he comes back he sluffs off his boss and ends up
getting a raise. But his homies get fired. So they come up with a plan to
fuck over the company and make some quick $$$. There's not a lot of sex in
this movie and it disappoints me as much as it does you but it's still
pretty good. My favorite part would have to be when they take a gay ass
printer out into the middle of nowhere and beat the shit out of it....it's
symbolism dammit. And over this time the main charactor (I can't remember
his name right now) is developing this thing for a bitch played by Jennifer
Aniston....yeah. But he hears that she fucked his boss and starts having
nasty nightmares about it... Well that's about all I can remember so if you
don't have anything to do, go and rent this bitch, it's a pretty fresh
movie.
Woo Woo...this movie definately is the shit juggalos....even if you've never worked in an office before you'll know whut its like. Its got that Jennifer Aniston chick in it pre-friends i think...one of my fav scenes is the gang style beating of a printer machine....yae yae! FUCK OFF!...mcl ninjaz "TERROR FIRMER" Reviewer :WICKEDCLOWN65101 
This is one crazy ass, demented ass, funny ass, slap your as you'll be
laughin so hard, kick your ass for the fuck of it movie. Its made by TROMA
studios, the people who brought you the classics The Toxic Avenger, Sgt.
Kabukiman NYPD, and Tromeo and Juliet. This is by far the best Troma movie
ever. The story revolves around a low budget move thats being made and the
crew are getting slaughtered by a serial killer (who turns out to be..... i
aint tellin but its funny and perhaps the most disgusting thing you will ever
see at the same time.) This movie has it all, blind directors pissin on
people fuckin, crazy ass killings, plenty of blood, some titty shots, and
pickle sex. THATS RIGHT PICKLE SEX MUTHA FACKO.  You gotta see this juggalos.
you'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll call your mom a dirty whore and send her to
my house. A great fuckin movie. Classic. On the Jokers Card scale i give this
movie a Six out of a possible six. doesnt get any body. mcl.
Theres jes something i love about those cheesy ass up all night movies that make no sense. Thanx WickedClown for that review. I definately wanna see this movie...cuz yall know Toxic Avenger was the shit....hey someone review Toxic! Keep them reviews coming ninjaz....MCL "VAMPIRE JOURNALS" Reviewer :MADDNIZZ 
By Full Moon video released in 96 (I’m not quite sure that Vlad was the right name) This video has a crazy fresh set up, its in this old ass gothic looking city in like Russia or somewhere round that and the music is somewhat creepy. The main vampire of the movie’s name is Vlad, some dude with a savage ass conan sword who lops off his leaders head in the beginning because his leader was killing some bitch. He was mad because his leader turned him into a vampire.Vlad traveled the world to try to find this other vampire named Ash who was Vlad’s leader’s leader, who is a super vampire and is almost unstoppable. Cept when he’s listening to some hot chick named Sofia who is a professional pianist. He can only be caught off guard during that time. Ash stalks Sofia but Vlad saves her at first. He falls in love with chickie poo Sofia and wants to keep her from becoming Ash’s slave. Ash owns a vampire whorehouse/casino and he’s got the whole town on lockdown.  Hot naked vampire chicks are
then in the movie and they kill some dude I believe.
Some general tries to rip Ash off and ends up getting
his head ripped off. Sofia gets caught by Ash then
Vlad finally is able to sneak into the place and he
has a war with hella other vampires and tears them to
shreds. Then he frees Sofia. Ash is on a rampage
trying to catch her again while Vlad tries to kill
Ash. Eventually Ash gets his head sliced clean off by
Vlad.personal rating 6 of 10
Whoa that sounds fuckin fresh....fuck...thanx Maddnizz for that review. Fuck it imma name my first kid Vlad...that jes a dope ass killer name! Yae Yae a vampire movie for halloween muhfuckers...go out and rent this one cuz i wanna see it too! I gotta aplogize for tha lame pic of Grandpa...i couldnt find a dope pic from the movie...but honestly...that pic of grandpa is alot scarier than any other vampire pic i ever seen....jes look at those beedy lil eyes... Keep them reviews coming ninjaz! "TRAINING DAY" Reviewer :FuzzNuts 
i just saw this movie... Training Day
Denzel Washington is a bad yet good guy in this movie. Lots of shooting, not
enough getting hit though, and one of those confusing but interesting plots. I
thought it was hella fresh with twists and turns all in it,
 and the way Denzel
gets his. Snoop Dogg was in it for a lil bit, pretty funny to see him (if you
watch it, you'll know why), hes not a great actor i think though... Though it
was a good movie, Im not sure you wanna buy jacks or the ticket, but since i
already had a pack, it wasnt a waste.
Thanx Fuzz for that movie review. I actually do wanna see this movie..jes cuz cop movies are usually pretty good....like Colors and Copland...anywayz..keep them reviews coming ninjaz...woo woo! "BOOK OF SHADOWS: Blair Witch 2" Reviewer :CLOWN E "Dirtay" LOVE 
YAE YAE....back up in this bitch with another review juggalos. Yea its near halloween so whut better movie to review than Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2. First off imma go right on out and say the first BLair Witch SUCKED! Ok yea there was like one or two cool parts but i spent most the movie trying not to blow chunks on the dude sittin in front of me cuz i was gettin dizzy from Muhammad Ali the camera man shakin that bitch like Missy at a candy bar vending machine. J/k Missy u know we love you, specially SoftcoreMike. Anyway on to the review. THis movie takes the stand point of lettin u know that the first movie was jes that....a movie...nothing more. So in steps this ninja that wants to make bank off the movie and sets up real tours of the woods where supposedly the "witch" resides. Theres a really hot goth chick in this movie and one helly cute "Viccan" or however u spell it...u know those witches that believe in Earth Wind and Fire....i personlly never listen to them. Anyway things start gettin weird when their reality gets blurred and weird occurances start happening  and they dont know whuts real and whut isnt. I wont
lie its not a scary movie...but its REALLY well done. It never lags and its even got some
cool tunes in the movie. WAY better than the first and definately worth watching. The
ending is really cool to...but i wont spoil it for u. Aight ninjaz thats it for now
like always if u gotta movie you'd like to review email me at the link at the top of this
page...YAE YAE.....MCL serial killaz...the balconys closed!! fuck off!!
"THE THIRTEENTH FLOOR"  Reviewer : POPCORN GURL
Wassup ninjaz... This is Clown E's lil Popcorn Gurl attempting to make myself useful for a change instead of just slobbin around tha house and askin people for some moolah. So lets see if I have any other purpose in this world other than tryin to make my own line of cheese popcorn scented paintballs. So I see this one daym move in the theater about mid `99 and afterwards all I wanted to do all night was walk out onto tha highway  and let myself get hit by a car. Yeah, nevermind about that. The 13th Floor is tha most
fucked up twisted mind fuck I've had in a long time. It twists your grasp on reality and
puts very bad bad thoughts into your head. Lemme put it like this...Tha Matrix? that was
just a cartoon compared to this flick... Over 2000 years ago Plato postulated that tha
"real" world only exists in our imagination. In this movie the technology of modern
society has begun to prove Plato's point. Everything from smart bombs to nuclear testing
can be simulated with a computer chip. On the "13th Floor" of some corporate building,
scientists have taken virtual reality technology to its limits. They have created a living, breathing simulation of LA in tha 30's on a computer chip. When one of tha scientists wakes up with a bloody shirt in his house and his friend murdered, he becomes tha prime suspect. Did he do it? Why cant he remember? As he keeps getting pulled into vortex of murder and deception, his friends death begins to reveal a dangerous double life between the two worlds. One in the 30's and one in tha present. But tha lines between fantasy and reality blur even more when he meets this gurly whos all mysterious and whos intentions are questionable and her secrets may have lethal and epic repercussions. To find out whut tha fuck s goin on the scientist has to cross the boundaries between tha "real" world and the simulated world he has created. Tha past and the present meet and all hell breaks loose and he gets slapped in tha face with tha truth about tha murder and about the reality of his own existence. Yeah, its a mind fuck that'll make you want to kill yourself just too see whut happens next. Just go watch tha daym movie and dont do anything stupid after it.
"TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE" Reviewer : KIM H.  The ultimate horror movie, the grand daddy of all horror films is Texas Chainsaw Massacre. In this movie, Sally, her brother and three friends go to the cemetary where her grandfather is buried because they heard vandals have been desecrating the area. On the way they pick up an insane hitchhiker who cuts himself. They kick him out and continue on and end up in a backwoods, redneck, tiny town. They eventually meet a murderous deranged cannibal named Leatherface and his inbred family, who torture and kill the teens. This movie, and more specifically the main character Leatherface, were based on the serial killer Ed Gein. For all the gruesome violence there is little blood and gore, it's more psychological terror. It's an old movie (70's) and made pretty low budget so if you look past those factors, it's pretty fucking dope. Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a horror classic and a must-see. Props to Kim for that review. Shit ninjaz...this has to be a one of my all time favorites. Whut could be better than a 6 foot giant retard wielding a chainsaw at some bitch. If thats not cinematic genius i dont know whut is. Leatherface is one of those icon killers right up there with Freddy Kruegar, Michael Meyers and Jason. He's even dope enuff to have made an appearance on none other than ICP's Stranglemania...volume 1. Peep that  and the movie ninjaz...its definitely a juggalo movie Theres some
sequels too but none of them even compare to the first one..well
thats it....MCL serial killers....until next time...keep those
movie reviews coming like whut?
"SLC PUNK" Reviewer : JOSH "BEAN" RINGLE  the movie is SLC Punk. its the shit its like a cult type of movie. its about a buncha punks that are outcats living in salt lake city full of Mormons and in the movie all they do is party, beat up some fucking skin heads, drink, fight, and well all that happy friendly shit. its well this movie is for some juggalos that like punk but it has the same message. these punks are different from there surroundings and they are outcasts just like us juggalos and it takes place like in the early 90's i would guess when punk was evil to people. well just check the movie out and if you like it write about it or ill be happy to write up something about it cuz i love the movie. MCL Ninja! Thanks Josh, yup i seen this one a while ago. I didnt  think i would like it...cuz to be honest i aint much into punk....im too god damn lazy to rebel against anything....but anyway...this movie was tha shit. Good fuckin story and u get into it..plus its got some dope ass bangin chicks in it.....hey if it'll get me neden i'll dye my hair and protest something....for instance im highly against the pharmaceutical product "Baby B-Gone"....i think its highly immoral and i wont stand for it.......fuck off.......rent SLC Punk ninjaz...haha.....YAE YAE
"CLERKS" Reviewer : BATMADROX  CLerks review from BaTMaDRoX - me!!!
Clerks. We all feel like this guy Dante atleast once in our lives. He gets a call from his boss at 8 o'clock in da mornin sayin he has to work on his day off. The man's got a hockey game at 2 for gods sake! When he gets to work he's bombarded wit stupid shit. People comin in wantin ciggarettes, old guys wanted porno magz and 4 year olds buyin ciggarettes. Dante finds out his girlfriend sucked 36 dicks before his and flips and the only person there to confide in is the loud mouth (funny as hell) asshole Randal (who enjoys watching Hermaphrodidic porn). Hightlights of this movie are Dante's ex-girlfriend fucking a dead guy in the bathroom and Dante and Randal's discussion in the car while driving to a wake where Randal knocks over the casket. This is most definatley a classic. This movie introduces to you Jay and Silent Bob as drug dealers who chill outside Dante's store and deal. It's funny as hell just rent it mutha fackus!
 Hellz yea...woo woo to Batmadrox for that review. Ninjaz this movie is definately tha shit. For a while my cousin Ry Ry was Dante and when he saw tha movie it brought a small tear to his eye to know he wasnt alone. The whole movie is in black and white but it works cuz it adds to the whole theme of it takin place in a convenience store and video rental place. Jay and Silent Bob make their movie debuts in this pic so that makes it helly fresh. Fav scene for me was at the end when some chick does it with a dead guy.....YAE YAE..rent this movie ninjaz...i give it 5 outa 5 nudy mags. Reviewer : BIG STEVE BOOGIE  a movie that all serial killer psychos should see is called "taxi driver". its some of robert deniro's earliest and best work. if you've ever wondered what drives a serial killer crazy, peep this movie. its helly long, but the second half of the movie is worth watching the first half. this movie has everything, 12 year old hookers, blood, guts, porn movies, and one BIG ass gun. deniro plays a taxi driver who goes crazy after his hi-class girlfriend dumps him for taking her to a porn movie. after he goes crazy, it obviously gets better.i don't want to tell you what happens, but he gets a pimped out mohawk, lots of guns, and just when you think the movie is over, it has a twist ending. juggalos everywhere should check this out.
 Damn Steve thanks for that interview. Juggalos i wont lie...i've never seen this movie but i've always wanted to. This is the movie where i think Deniro
says that famous line" Are you talking to me, you must be talking to me cuz i dont see anyone else here!?!?" Im definately gonna rent this one ninjaz
jes cuz its too fuckin dope of a concept to pass up on it, i suggest you ninjaz do the same and lemme know whut u think. MCL ninjaz..keep them reviews coming.
"SPACEBALLS" Reviewer :Juggalette Neener  Spaceballs This is somewhat of an old movie but it is the shit. Did you like Star Wars? Did Star Wars piss you off? Have you even SEEN Star Wars? Well in any case if you comedy is your thing this is a helly good movie. Basically it's a spoof on Star Wars directed by Mel Brooks for those who care. A lowly S.O.B. (Lonestar) is chosen to save the run away princess from Dark Helmet, the leader of the Badger Blimp (really BIG fuckin' ship). Dark Helmet is the evil side of the Schwartz and is the greatest enemy of the lowly S.O.B. known as Lonestar. In the process of rescuing the princess Lonestar crash lands on a desert planet and is found by Yogurt, who teaches him how to use the Schwartz for good Though you don't see anybody get ass this movie is the shit. It has a guy named YOGURT....Now how fuckin' often do you see that? Anyway, this movie is the shit regardless and if a juggalo wants to laugh or see a MOG (half man half dog), played by John Candy, get his foot crushed by a floating statue you will like this movie. "We aint found shit !" Haha..fuck yea ..this movie is a must see. Thanks to Juggalette Neener for the review. Its not bloody but if you like sci-fi and comedy then this movie is the fuckin shit. The only Star Wars spoof out there  it holds its own balls if u will...pun intended. One of my fav scenes is when
Yougurt....the Yoda wannabe is showin off actual merchandise for SpaceBalls
the Movie while the movie is still going and he busts out with "Spaceballs"
the Flame Thrower......definately classic ninjaz.....rent this one fo sho...
watch it high or sober either way its funny as hell.
"HEAVY METAL 2000" Reviewer :HAPPY NOODLE BOY Heavy Metal 2000 Alright, this is the sequel to the old 70's movie Heavy Metal. I  recommend you see both. This movie is so tight! Basically its a cartoon
full of blood, gore, sex, and tons of violence. It's about this girl, porn
star Julie Strain, on the hunt to avenge the destruction of her planet. If
you like great, bloody pointless action and sex scenes, get this movie. The
 effects are really nice too. Imagine Titan AE rapped up the butt and left
to die and snort crack, and you get this movie. They actually have a clip
of ICP's song Dirtball in the backround for about 30 seconds. You have to
listen carefully, but it's there. It's right before the guy buys the sex
robot. Thats right, sex robot. Man do I love this movie. "Shut the fuck
up." - Julie Strain, right after here buddy asks her why she insults him so
much.
Woo muhfuckin Woo....thanx ninja for that review....shit i gotta give this movie a bloody thumbs up....its the first animated movie to make it onto my movie review section. This movie really does have it all...blood, guts, and naked hot chicks...yea theyre cartoons but you'd be surprised at how easy it is to jerk off to a hot cartoon babe....jes ask SoftcoreMike...he's got a thing for Sailor Moon. Anywayz...i wouldnt say buy this movie but definately rent it or steal it if u can and watch it....PROPS goes to whoever fuckin put ICP's DIRTBALL in this movie..and also on the soundtrack to tha movie.....buy that shit ninjaz...also i included a pic of the actual Porn star actress that voices the lead female character...her name is Julie....thank me later......fuck off.....keep the reviews comin like whut...baby whut!!?!?! MCL juggalos "PURPLE RAIN" reviewer :CLOWN E "Muhfuckin" LOVE  Ya  ya i know...whuts Purple Rain doing on Clown E's movie reviews...."aint Prince a fag?"
First off....if Prince was gay...put me down as being that type of fag cuz he gets more fine
ass pussy than N'sync and Backstreet put together....and his hoes are legal and not flat chested 12
year olds with their crusty loopy ass soccer moms who go to the concerts with them. So anyway maybe it aint
a "Juggalo" movie but its still tha shit. Its almost autobiographical of his life. It starts out with him playin
in a local club with his band. He hasnt hit the big time yet....prolly cuz he's stubborn with his music and doesnt listen to any advice peeps be givin him. Then some way hot bitch with a fucked up name comes into town lookin to make it big as a singer..she goes to the club and sees Prince performing and she immediately is like "DAYUM"
but he plays it cool. He's a fuckin PIMP to the extreme...he takes her to this nasty aligator infested toxic waste
dump/lake and tells her that if she really wants to make it big...shes gotta first clean herself in the lake
and then he says whut tha lakes name is....and cuz shes a nasty ass skanky slut bitch whos hornier than fuck
that wants A) Dick and B) to make it big...she starts taking off all her clothes...Nice Jugs..and gets in the
dirty ass COLD water.....Prince jes laughs and then tells her thats not the lake he was talkin about. BLAH
 i laffed at that one...sounds like something i'd do...but anyway...the movies got hella fuckin pimp songs
in it that jes makes the ladies melt and cream their granny panties. He's got a fucked up home life with his
abusive dad whos always takin swings at his mom. Which makes Prince turn to his music....sound familiar? Ya thought so...but anyway...the bitch with a fucked up name starts hookin up with this other singer guy cuz he promises her he can make her famous...basically he was scheming to get some pussy....like we all have....anyway...Prince gets
his ruffels all twisted up and he gets pissed and in one scene he actually pimp slaps the hoe right across her face
jes moments after she gives him this pimp ass guitar that she bought for him. You know they got a lil love quarrel going on and then things get worse at home for Prince and he finally jes loses it. I wont spoil the end...but its a dope movie that gets hella thumbs up from me and the Rudeboy that sly muhfucker...peep it if ur into 80's music with bad hairstyles...fine ass women with big knockers and good fuckin music..and i mean that last one literally..u wanna get a bitch moist...pop some Prince in ur cd player....fo sho.....peep out tha pic in this update..thats Prince and his real life bitch Mayte....guess he's got a thing for bitches with fucked up names....fuck off
balconys closed muhfcukers....MCL im out like whut BABY WHUT?!?!?
"FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS" Reviewer : BIG STEVE BOOGIE  the movie that i think all my juggalo family should see is called "fear and
loathing in las vegas". this movie has mad juggalo flavor. its about 2
druggie ninjas( dr.gonzo and raoul duke)when they are sent to las vegas to
do an article about a bike rally. it has mad flavor with lotsa drug use,
mad funny scenes when they are trippin, and fabulous one liners like "dont
take the elevator, it will send you back in time" and "you people are whats
wrong with america, and you killed jesus" you'll piss your pants laughing
the whole time.i dont want to give much up, but its packed with freshness.
i give it 2 hatchets up.
MCL- BIG steve boogie
Thanks Steve...woo woo...damn ninjaz i cant say enuff good shit about this  movie...its perfection at its greatest...if you've ever done drugs you'll
love this movie, if you've never done drugs you'll find out whut u were
missin. This movie fucks with ur mind hardcore. Imagine drinkin hard shots
of vodka while poppin acid and smoking some weed ...THEN.....going to
vegas...enuff said fuckers..go rent this movie now..the fuck u doing online
..aint nobody wanna talk to you...go rent Fear and Loathing.
Keep them reviews coming muhfackos!
"NATURAL BORN KILLERS" Reviewer :THEPLAYER989@Hotmail.Com  Natural Born Killers is a must see for all juggalos its got everything It has Woody Harelson and this one girl form the way of the gun. Basically they just drive around and shoot people and kill them. for the fuck of it. after watching the first seen of this movie u wont be able to stop. the movie is funny as shit wehn they show how the dad treated the girl wehn she was younger. they eventually get caught and have to go to jail. and they were super famous around the country for there killings. so woody harelson gets his chance to breakout and he takes it. good long jail break scene so many dead bodys its a must see for any juggalo .
Thanks ninja for that review....fuck..i never seen a movie with so much violence and so little story...it was PERFECT. Savage shootings, abuse,  notoriety. The only thing i didnt like was that coked up fag Robert Downey Jr. I hate that muhfucker...but i was happy when...ah shit nevamind i wont
ruin it....rent this movie juggalos!
"STRANGELAND" Reviewer : Juicy Juggalette  So if I could come up with 1 big reason not to meet a guy off the internet, this movie is it. This movie is about a psycho on the net, who goes to chat to find chicks to come to a "party".Then once they get there he rapes them and sews their mouth closed.It kinda drags sometimes but the kiler Captain Howdy makes the movie good. Theres drugs, sex, pain, and body piercing. A perfect movie to watch with a chick whos freeky like me.Its also got a killer soundtrack to check out. But the videos at the end of the film suck royal ass.check it out sometimes. its kinda hard to find, try hollywood video.  mcl Juicy Juggalette
Woo woo...i agree...this movie is definately the shit. Dee Sneider from Twisted Sister plays the lead guy and he seriously is one twisted muhfucker. This movies even got a cameo of non other than Freddy Krueger himself...although its him w/o his costume its still fresh that they threw him in this movie. Fav scene for me has to be the sharp 20 inch steel needles being inserted into some naked chicks breasts by Capt Howdy....its the kinda scene that makes you wonder why u havent already tried this on ur own chick...something to think about juggalos....Woo woo to Juicy Juggalette for that review! MCL "HALF BAKED" Reviewer: CHAOTIC JUGGALO  HALF BAKED
Hey this movie is the shit. U got stoners, four funny ass guys. A horse dies! Chong, of cheech and chong fame is in this mofo. People are gettin high through out the movie. There's a guy who practically bust a nut over some maryjane. There's even some advice on how us broke ass juggalos can take out a living girl without any cash, cause u know dead girls don't need nuthin phurmaldihide to keep them from rotting. It Even got Titties!! Not alot, but some titties is way better than having no titties. Snoop Muthafucking Dogg is even in this damn film. go Watch this movie, it is funny, you'll laugh your ass off, I guarentee.
ChaoticJuggalo
Woo Woo fuck yea Half Baked is  definately tha shit....anytime u got a movie where a Dog smokes CRack...its tha shit...Thanks to Chaotic Juggalo for the review.....definately rent this movie ninjaz!!
"TRILOGY OF TERROR" Reviewer : MONOXIDE424@GATEWAY.NET  alot of ninjaz have misssed out on this cult classic TRILOGY OF TERROR it is a movie wit 3 stories in one..........first off they got a teacher fuckin her student...always the shit........then they got a girl with a multiple personality that she thinks she is her sister and her sisters a slut.....then in the last movie u got a lil voodoo doll that comes to life after his necklace falls off and starts stabbin mothafuckaz in the ankles and shit its fuckin funny as hell are will make u shit ur pants at the same time ......the fucked up thing though is that the same girl is the lead actress in all 3 stories. This would definetly get a 4 out of 5 jokerz cards in my book ....peace
Fuck yea...woo woo to Monoxide for that review...rumor has it that im also in this movie as a scary monster with a rattle that terrorizes young gurls by sneakin into their bedroom and stealing their panties and sniffin them. Thats pure heresay and speculatory speculation though. "BOUND BY HONOR: BLOOD IN BLOOD OUT" Bound by Honor: Blood in Blood Out  this movie is Str8 up the shit it stars Damian Chapa as a half white half mexican who goes to move with his mexican cousins in east LA.his cosins are vatos locos and miklo(damian chapa) wants to be down, so he earns there respect and gets in the crew, but ends up in jail, and goes through the whole movie earning respect thing again. this movie has it all, fights , titties, car chase,jail rape, mutha fuckos getting dropped spine first on fire hydrants, mutha fuckas getting VL carved in there chest. this is my favorite movie of all time and made me wanna be a vato loco ever since the first time I saw it..and will make any one else wanna be a vato, LA ONDA, RASA STYLE!!!!!! LA FAMILIA!!!!
Props goes to Str8upJuggalo for that review....Definately worth checkin out ninjaz...it's kinda long...but a good movie overall. Me, mah homie Spiderman and mah homie Jesse watched this movie with Rudeboy one time when he was here in L.A. and he was fuckin geeked that Spidey knew where all the locations were from the movie cuz that shit was filmed here in East L.A.. Vatos Locos por vida ! Keep those reviews coming ninjaz !! reviewer : JASON PUGH  Yo this movie is the fucking weirdest shit I've ever seen. I let my homie Rafael borrow it and he flipped out about it. It's directed by John Carpenter, one of the most demented, sick in the nugget muthafackos on the planet. It's about this insurance investigator that gets hired to find a missing horror writer for a publishing company, because he owes them his last book. Now this writer's shit is like mad scary and freaky, so it actually drives people crazy and shit. Anyway, this investigator figures out where the writer is, and he's supposed to be in this town he writes about called Hobb's End, but the thing is that the town isn't real. The writer made it up in his books, but the investigator says that there are lots of forgotten towns in America, so he goes to look for it, and really finds it, but it turns out that everything in the writer's previous books is coming true. Fucking cannibalism, people turning into demons, murder, black churches, it's some crazy shit. I don't wanna give away too much of the movie, but it's definitely fresh as hell and it sounds weird, but it's a must-see for a juggalo wantin' to get his face scared off, 'cause it gets up in your brain and shit. That's all, go rent or buy IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS.
Fuck ya thanks Jason...shit i rented this movie last night and watched it...its got some really fucked up scenes in it...one of my favorites is in the beginning when the lead character almost gets chopped to death by some maniac obsessed with the Book. Fo SHo this is a definate for ninjaz to watch. Its a lil slow at times...but worth it...Woo Woo Reviewer :FAYGO BOOZER My favorite movie of all time is Army of Darkness featuring Bruce Cambell. This is the 3rd part of the Evil Dead series which i also highly reccomend! An S-mart employee goes back into the past to Camelot type days and goes in search for the Necromonicon (the book of the dead) to get back to his time...He kicks ass the whole movie, he has a chainsaw ATTACHED to his arm how could this movie NOT kick ass? IT's also helly funny...my favorite part is when he beheads his evil twin and digs him a grave and puts him in, the head is still talking Ash says to the head "hey whats that on your face?" as he throws a shovel load of dirt on his face! Great shit!!  Woo muhfuckin woo...thanks to Faygo Boozer for that review...funny story bout the Evil Dead series...me and Ry Ry rented the first one jes outa no where cuz we were bored out of our fuckin minds one day and there wasnt shit else to do and decided to rent a scary movie and make fun of it. We never thought the movie would actually be good and then we was hooked and had to watch the other two. A definate MUST WATCH for all juggalos. If you like gore and incantations al la DARK LOTUS and the Necronomicon....you gotta see these flics...plus its got funny lines that amuse a muhfucker enuff to not only piss himself but also on anyone nearby......WHUT? reviewer : Private CLoWn E Lickmahballs This movie was the shit ! Had everything....blood, guts and $2 dolla WHORES!!! Its basically about a group of ninjaz going through Army training  and then they get shipped to the Vietnam War. If u ever wondered where the phrases "Me Love You Long time" and "Me So Horny" came from
well this movies the answer.....nuttin like gettin some cheap Poong Tang ! Woo Woo....its directed by Stanley Kubrick so if any u ninjaz know who he
is u know he also directed The Shining. One highlight in this movie for me was when a frustrated soldier who couldnt cut it in training blew his sergeant away then blew his fuckin brains out. SEMPER DIE ! Definately worth watchin muhfackos.
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